Speech Therapy

Updated: Mar 19

I’ve been told I talk too fast

Because my words are looped together like bows

told I mumble

The end of a sentence barely faded to grey when I charge into the next one

Ask me to slow down and I wince

Because you are listening to of hours of practicing how to enunciate

How to articulate

How to finish words

Finish sentences

That the r should be pronounced

Breaths are needed in between sentences


Because

Speech has always been an issue for me

Words slid out of my mouth different

Teeth clonking on the Ks and the Gs

My mouth has always been too slow for the rest of me


I have always liked things fast

efficient

Streamlined

I talk fast, I write fast, I work fast

I spoke like I read

I skimmed

A word or two didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things


My mouth knew how to take up space, but not to differentiate

I didn’t understand why you couldn’t understand me

See that there was a larger point

Couldn't you still distill my meaning

Words shaken, not stirred


I wince because it’s hard to be a work in progress

Even though I’m beyond the afternoons spent in the speech therapists office

I still see the pages

The words with every last letter circled

As she would tell me to speak

Again and again


If you know me

You’ll know

I’ll often rewind

Human tape recorder stuttering

Let me try that again

I forget now I do not sit in her office


Speech therapy taught me words were powerful

Not because they were easy

But because each time I use them

I am forced to perform

Each sentence requires a breath

And deliberate process.

Speech therapy taught me that words have contours

And I was doing them a disfavor by cutting them short

Speech Therapy taught me how to slow down

because I could

Because time is not something you can beat

Words are not bullets

They are not meant for rapid fire

Sometimes I relapse into my speed

Passion makes my words bleed together again

Lack of sleep brings my words together like old married couples

I am not intelligible always

And I don’t intend to be


Speech therapy brought me to poetry and performance

Because I like popping my ps

Because i know the beauty in perfectly enunciated ‘t’

Because memorization makes thing easier

I already know the pattern

Know the hills i will have to work harder on

The curves I can come zooming past

Tell me I speak too fast

I am still a Formula One navigating suburban neighborhoods


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