I’ve been told I talk too fast
Because my words are looped together like bows
told I mumble
The end of a sentence barely faded to grey when I charge into the next one
Ask me to slow down and I wince
Because you are listening to of hours of practicing how to enunciate
How to articulate
How to finish words
Finish sentences
That the r should be pronounced
Breaths are needed in between sentences
Because
Speech has always been an issue for me
Words slid out of my mouth different
Teeth clonking on the Ks and the Gs
My mouth has always been too slow for the rest of me
I have always liked things fast
efficient
Streamlined
I talk fast, I write fast, I work fast
I spoke like I read
I skimmed
A word or two didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things
My mouth knew how to take up space, but not to differentiate
I didn’t understand why you couldn’t understand me
See that there was a larger point
Couldn't you still distill my meaning
Words shaken, not stirred
I wince because it’s hard to be a work in progress
Even though I’m beyond the afternoons spent in the speech therapists office
I still see the pages
The words with every last letter circled
As she would tell me to speak
Again and again
If you know me
You’ll know
I’ll often rewind
Human tape recorder stuttering
Let me try that again
I forget now I do not sit in her office
Speech therapy taught me words were powerful
Not because they were easy
But because each time I use them
I am forced to perform
Each sentence requires a breath
And deliberate process.
Speech therapy taught me that words have contours
And I was doing them a disfavor by cutting them short
Speech Therapy taught me how to slow down
because I could
Because time is not something you can beat
Words are not bullets
They are not meant for rapid fire
Sometimes I relapse into my speed
Passion makes my words bleed together again
Lack of sleep brings my words together like old married couples
I am not intelligible always
And I don’t intend to be
Speech therapy brought me to poetry and performance
Because I like popping my ps
Because i know the beauty in perfectly enunciated ‘t’
Because memorization makes thing easier
I already know the pattern
Know the hills i will have to work harder on
The curves I can come zooming past
Tell me I speak too fast
I am still a Formula One navigating suburban neighborhoods